Give it to me
by RosevalleyNB
Summary: Mr Ballard was quite accustomed to his regular customers' antics. Sometimes, he had to ask them to at least keep their clothes on. But usually, like tonight, he was at risk of serious damages to his little restaurant. It wouldn't be the first time. One-shot / AU / rating for language and innuendo.


**Give it to me**

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**Usual disclaimers apply; anything recognisable belongs to their rightful owner(s). I'm just playing around in the world JK Rowling has created.**

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**x**

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The Wicked Warlock was as busy as ever. The quaint little restaurant, just off Diagon Alley, was packed with visitors. Most of them were families celebrating the beginning of the summer holidays. The usual happy atmosphere, full of laughter and happy chatter, at such days was nowhere in sight. In fact, the restaurant was eerily silent. All eyes and ears were on the couple at a table in a far corner.

The couple's conversation was growing louder and cruder. They were regulars, had been for years, and unfortunately this display wasn't uncommon for them. In fact, it would have been considered out of the ordinary if the couple just had a quiet night out and behaved themselves.

The first time Mr Ballard welcomed them to his establishment five years ago, the young man had been promoted to the Tornadoes first string team as a chaser and the girl had been in her final year at Hogwarts.

At the time, the couple had made a curious sight; the dainty schoolgirl on the arm of a foulmouthed, behemoth of a Quidditch player that easily could have broken her in two. Mr Ballard had assumed that it would be the first and last time that he would see the couple. The picture they made was too unusual, their incompatibility practically oozing off of them. That night, they'd left quarrelling, only affirming the older man's assumption.

But to his surprise, the couple had returned a month later for lunch on a Saturday afternoon. The way they'd held hands over the table, the shy smiles and soft talk had been a far cry from the first time Mr Ballard met them.

That was five years ago and the couple still were together. They still held their routine of visiting the restaurant once a month. Over those years, Mr Ballard learned that his first impression of the couple had been wrong. While the girl looked like a delicate flower, she had a temper and mouth on her that rivalled her boyfriend's. And the young man, who never held back during their verbal matches, physically handled her with a tender gentleness that almost seem too foreign to be true. Mostly, they were a sweet sight to behold. Mostly.

Over the years, Mr Ballard witnessed enough arguments between the couple, each time thinking that this would be the one that ended their relationship. And tonight was no different. Unfortunately, he was quite accustomed to his regular customers' antics. Sometimes, he had to ask them to at least keep their clothes on. But usually, like tonight, he was at risk of serious damages to his little restaurant. It wouldn't be the first time.

Sighing, the man warily watched the couple, like the rest of his guests. He would give them five more minutes to calm down on their own. If they didn't, he would have to ask them to leave. There were too many young children present tonight to appreciate the language the coupled spewed. It was a shame, though. The night had started so promising.

On the other side of the restaurant, the couple, also known as Marcus Flint and Katie Bell, continued their argument without noticing their audience. Their lack of propriety, in both their arguments and public display of affection, often caused their families and friends headaches. Although, the Prophet seemed to profit from their spats; they always guaranteed additional sales. And tonight's argument wasn't any different. Rita Skeeter, coincidently having dinner with a colleague, already had her quill and parchment out.

"Give it to me, Flint," Katie Bell, spat at her boyfriend of five years. Marcus Flint had the ability to make her toes curl in ecstasy, but tonight she wasn't beyond hexing him into oblivion. Like always, it was the one or the other with them.

"Don't do me any favours, Bell. I'm not a charity case," Flint replied acidly, his patience hanging on by a thread. This was not the way their dinner was supposed to go.

"For fuck's sake. Do you have to be such an arse? Just hand it over."

Marcus regarded Katie for a minute, her eyes narrowed and her hand held out. Who would have thought that the sweet girl could turn in a hag in a matter of minutes? He blamed her for the grey hairs on his head. "No."

"Why not? Isn't that the purpose of that sodding thing?"

"Drop it, Bell," Marcus sighed and took a big gulp from his goblet.

"I will not. Now, give it to me," Katie was usually a very patient woman. She had to be with Marcus as her boyfriend. But tonight, he was pushing her buttons.

"Fuck, Katie! Give it a rest, will you!" Marcus gave Katie his patented withering look. The one that had most of his opponents in the Quidditch pitch turn around and fly off in another direction. But it never worked on her. No, the bint just rolled her eyes and continued nagging each and every time.

"Not until you give it to me," Katie wasn't about to let it to that easily. She would win in the end, always did. Marcus should know better by now.

"Drop it. Forget I ever brought it up."

"Forget about it? Are you mental? You can't just bring up something like that and later tell me to forget about it. You sodding arse, it doesn't work like that."

"You laughed in my face. Why do you think I would try it again?"

"You big troll! I wasn't laughing at you."

"So, pointing at it and cackling like a Knockturn Alley hag is you not laughing at me? I'm not that thick, you daft bint."

"I was nervous," Katie shrugged carelessly. She did understanding where he was coming from, she really did. But still, it didn't give him the right to take it back. "Now, hand it over."

"No."

"Merlin's saggy balls! Give it to me or I will hex your tiny prick off and serve it to you for breakfast."

"Tiny? You weren't complaining last night. Or this morning. If I remember correctly, I actually served it to _you_ for breakfast."

"I'm a good actress," Katie mumbled in her goblet, her cheeks flushing at the thought of their escapades of the last twenty-four hours. They celebrated their five year anniversary in style, naked and entwined in each other. But that was not the point. "We'll discuss that another time. Preferably, after you've given it to me."

Damn! Marcus thought that he'd distracted her. He should have known that she wouldn't let this go that easily. Katie turned into a rabid selkie when she got like this. Feeling defeated, he rummaged in his pocket.

"Fine, you wench." Marcus tossed a black little box at her. Unfortunately, Mr Ballard chose that moment to interrupt them.

"Mr Flint, Ms Bell?" The scowl on Katie's face took the men aback. She was quite scary at that moment. "Can you please keep it down? The other guest are complaining."

Marcus apologised curiously and promised to keep their voices down. All the while his eyes were trained on Katie. She was gently fingering the little box, anxiously waiting until she could open it. As soon as Mr Ballard left, he confronted her.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What's it going to be?"

Katie rolled her eyes in annoyance and tossed the little box back to him. "Ask me properly, you great git."

"Why? We both know what this means."

Not for the first time, Katie wondered what she saw in the great pillock seated opposite of her. And then she remembered the month that they'd been apart and how it nearly broke her. The truth was that she loved him, flaws and all. Even if she wanted to hex him into oblivion at times. Like tonight.

"Still, you have to ask me. You can't just assume."

Marcus sighed again, it seemed to be all he was doing tonight. The witch was infuriating. "Fine. But I'm not getting on my knees. These are new trousers."

"Marcus," Katie growled threateningly.

"Marry me."

Katie drank the last of her wine and stared at him, her face blank. There wasn't a hint to what she might be thinking and it was rather unsettling. It was never a good sign when she remained silent.

"Aren't you going to answer me?"

"I'm sorry. Was there a question? It sounded more like an order."

Now it was Marcus' turn to keep quiet. He wasn't going to give in or give her chance to say no. Not that he expected her to, she'd pestered him about this since she'd left Hogwarts. The silence stretched for a few minutes, neither of them willing to speak first.

"Fine, I'll marry you." It was eventually Katie that gave in, exasperation clear in her voice. "But you better come up with a nice story to tell our children. This was hardly romantic. Now, put the ring on my finger."

"We just agreed on getting married and you're already talking about our imaginary children," he retorted as he slid the ring, his grandmother's, on her finger. "You're mental."

"You have to be prepared. Ask for the bill, so we can get out of here."

"I haven't had dessert yet," Marcus whined. He was looking forward to the chocolate mousse, easily the best part of the evening.

Kate already stood beside her chair, eager to get away. "I'll give you dessert when we get home."

A mischievous glint appeared in Marcus' eyes and he licked his lips. He had to correct himself, Katie's _desserts_ were the best part of the evening.

"But first, we have to visit my parents."

"Fuck," Marcus muttered, he knew that he forgot something. Howard Bell was not going to appreciate the fact that Marcus didn't ask him for the hand of his daughter first. The man was a beast on the best of days and already disliked Marcus with a passion. This was not going to sit well with him.

"Mum will be elated. She's been waiting for ages for this to happen," Katie chattered on, not seeing or caring about Marcus' plight. "Don't just sit there, we need to go!"

Marcus stoop up reluctantly, not liking the idea of facing his soon to be father-in-law. Even the idea of Katie's desserts couldn't cheer him up. He tossed a few Galleons on the table en followed his girlfriend, no fiancée, out.

"You better have double desserts ready," he grumbled. Not that Katie was listening. She was already planning on how to tell her parents.

As they passed through the restaurant, Marcus sneered at the other guests. It helped to know that he at least still had the ability to intimidate strangers. A few children even started crying. Yes, he still got it.

"Wipe that smug look of your face, Flint. It isn't real accomplishment to make little children cry."

"Let me have my fun, you tart."

"You might want to call me that around my father. He'll surly love your pet names for me."

"What about your names for me?"

"Daddy thought me those."

"You lot are crazy."

Mr Ballard watched the young couple leave his restaurant. A small smile played around his lips while he shook his head. Having heard a better part of the conversation between the two, he was certain that it was one of the most absurd proposals he'd witnessed. But it suited the couple.

Their marriage was going to be filled with fireworks, Mr Ballard was sure of it.

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_**Fin**_


End file.
